


Bleeding Hearts

by AmethystQueen



Category: G.I. Joe (Cartoon), G.I. Joe - All Media Types
Genre: And today the Baroness had it, Guess who's back lads, If Destro had the brain cell Zartan would just steal it, M/M, The Cobra gang shares one brain cell, Which explains why this fic happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 04:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystQueen/pseuds/AmethystQueen
Summary: Destro knew Cobra Commander had a tendency for self-destructive idiocy.  He just thought Zartan knew better.





	Bleeding Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally back (again)! Got hit with another bout of writer's block, which sucked. Luckily, watching Gi Joe always seems to get me in the writing mood. Also, would anyone be interested in doing a writing trade? I've never actually done one before so I'm not sure how it works, but I've heard they can be fun.

By all rights Destro should have been content. As he surveyed the secret warehouse from his private balcony, he could see that his plasma cannon was assembled perfectly. Within mere moments it would be fully armed, allowing Cobra to extort the world's leaders to pay ransom or face destruction. Yes Destro should have been pleased, if not for the company he currently kept. To his dismay, Destro found himself gritting his teeth as another cackle came from the masked madman by his side.

"Would you please control yourself Cobra Commander," he snapped.

"That's hardly a pleasant attitude," remarked the cloaked mercenary on his other side.

"As usual, Zartan is right Destro!" said Cobra Commander. "Cobra's victory is within our grasp and you can't even muster up anything other than contempt!"

Destro sighed heavily and pressed his fingers against his temple. "I am simply being cautious. While it seems like our success is imminent, we cannot rule out the possibility of interference-"

"From who?" scoffed the Commander. "The Joes are halfway across the world as we speak. Even if they manage to get wind of our plan, it will be too late! Nothing can stop Cobra now that we have completed our ultimate weapon!"

Destro resisted the alarmingly common urge to roll his eyes. He distinctly remembered the Commander saying the same thing when they had created the Weather Dominator. Or when they had perfected body double technology. Basically every plan Cobra had was dismantled by Gi Joe sooner or later, a fact which Cobra Commander refused to acknowledge. If the Baroness was here, he would be able to vent his frustrations to someone who would actually listen (or pretend to at least). Unfortunately, she was occupied with other Cobra affairs, leaving Destro to suffer alone. As usual.

"Cobra Commander sir!" came a call from one of the soldiers on the floor below. "The weapon is fully charged and ready to fire!"

"Perfect!" cackled the Commander. "Prepare to fire on my command-"

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the building. Destro stumbled and clung to the balcony railing to prevent himself from falling. Certainly not the most dignified response, but Destro felt comforted by the fact that his associates had lost their footing too.

"It's the Joes," snarled Zartan with a look of extreme irritation.

"What!? That's impossible!" shrieked Cobra Commander. Destro desperately wanted to say the Joes clearly hadn't gotten the memo, but he kept silent. Snappy one-liners were best delivered by backwater mercenaries, not someone with as high social standing as himself.

"Fire the weapon immediately!" he yelled instead. The Joes may have gotten inside the base, but they wouldn't be able to stop the weapon in time.

"The weapon won't fire!" one of the higher ranking officers replied. "Its power source was connected to the main electrical system, which was disabled by the blast."

"Maybe we should have given the weapon its own battery after all," said Zartan thoughtfully. Destro's eye twitched. Before he could reach over and wring the mercenary's neck, another explosion caused the adjacent wall to collapse. Dozens of troops, each wearing the Joe insignia, swarmed into the room. Destro swore internally, for there were far too many of the enemy to fight and be able to win.

"We must retreat immediately," he said begrudgingly.

"I give the orders around here!" shrieked Cobra Commander as he finally pulled himself to his feet. Looking over the balcony at the chaos below, he grew quiet. "Err...maybe a retreat would be in order."

"Oh please!" laughed Zartan. "We've faced worse odds before. Besides, these are just common soldiers, not the elites. Retreat if you wish, but I'm going to have a good fight." To the shock of his companions, Zartan then vaulted himself over the railing, landing in the middle of the fray.

That insolent fool is going to get himself killed, Destro thought angrily. Apparently the Commander had a similar thought, for he leaned over the railing as far as he dared and began to shriek at the mercenary to come back to the balcony immediately. Unfortunately for Destro's ears, the Commander was ignored. 

"Forget him," Destro snapped. "If Zartan wishes to be left behind then we are under no obligation to stop him. But we must leave now before we are caught."

"Absolutely not!!" shot back the Commander. "Zartan is a loyal ally of Cobra-"

"Ha!" scoffed Destro. "Don't delude yourself. The only thing Zartan is loyal to is his paycheck."

Destro was completely prepared for the scathing remark he was sure would follow. The argument they were currently having was far from new but Destro hoped that the Commander would take the bait. If he got the fool to move away from the railing, he was sure he could easily drag him to the escape helicopter. Much to his shock however, Cobra Commander instead let out an ear-splitting wail. Startled (and a little frightened, though he would never admit it), Destro took a step back before realizing that the Commander was still looking at Zartan. Specifically, the javelin now firmly lodged in Zartan's stomach.

Before Destro could stop him, Cobra Commander vaulted himself over the railing. Falling gracelessly to the floor, he scrambled to his feet and ran to Zartan's side, who had collapsed to his knees. Wrapping Zartan's arm around his shoulder, the Commander attempted to pull Zartan towards the exit while also furiously firing at the enemies around him. To another person, this scene might have been called noble, but Destro knew enough about the Commander's luck to know that it was about to run out very soon.

Swearing furiously, Destro drew a small device from his pocket. It was a prototype sonic bomb, meant to target a specific frequency of radio communication and project a high pitched sound over that frequency, which would incapacitate anyone listening. Unfortunately, it had never been tested before, but it wasn't like Destro had any better options. Once the device was activated, he threw it over the railing at the crowd below. Almost immediately after it hit the ground, every Joe in the room collapsed, holding their ears in what appeared to be agony. A fantastic success, but Destro had no time to gloat. He pushed himself over the railing, making sure to carefully land on his feet. Wasting no time, he ran to the pair and hauled Zartan up by his free arm.

"Come on," he yelled over the noise. "That device won't last forever and we need to get Zartan medical treatment immediately."

"What do you think I'm doing?!" shrieked the Commander in what was probably supposed to be an authoritative voice, but ended up sounding panicked.

"There's no hurry," Zartan gasped while struggling for breath. "It's really not as bad as it looks." He tried to laugh but it quickly turned into a coughing fit which spilt a thin stream of blood from his mouth.

"Unbelievable," muttered Destro. He'd thought that Zartan would have slightly more brains than this, but clearly he was mistaken. Somewhat roughly, he began pulling Zartan towards the exit, prompting a hiss of pain from the mercenary. The Commander murmured an apology, which Destro chose to ignore, and tried to keep up with Destro's brisk pace.

How they managed to get out of there, Destro would never know. It seemed like it took an eternity to escape the crumbling building with Zartan becoming weaker with every step. Miraculously, he was somehow still conscious when they finally made it to the waiting helicopter.

As they lifted off the landing pad, Destro thought exhaustedly about everything he would have to deal with thanks to this debacle. The paperwork alone would be horrific, but of course it wouldn't end there. There would be inquiries into how the Joes had gotten wind of their plan, budget meetings to make even more cuts, recruitments to replace the troops they lost...Thankfully, the medical staff present had already managed to stabilize Zartan, but it would take at least a month to recover from his injury. That meant a month of those dreadful Dreadnoks hanging around Cobra headquarters. Destro shuddered at the thought.

He turned to Cobra Commander, fully intent on lecturing the lunatic for his reckless behavior. Unlike Zartan, the Commander would be somewhat harder to replace if he was killed (as much as Destro hated to admit it). He opened his mouth...and then shut it. The Commander was staring at the floor in silence with his arms wrapped around his knees. Even with his expressionless mask, it was clear that he was in distress. Destro sighed internally. Without saying a word, he shifted closer so that he was sitting almost on top of the other man. Although he did not look at him, Destro felt when the Commander quietly accepted the offering to tightly clutch at his arm.

Luckily for all parties involved, Zartan only needed to stay in the medical wing for 2 weeks, after which things quickly returned to business as usual. The Commander was quick to come up with another ludicrous plan that would fail spectacularly (as they tended to do). Destro was still stuck alone with Cobra Commander and Zartan (he really ought to start scheduling the Baroness' missions himself). The Joes still caught wind of their plan and defeated Cobra once more. It was if nothing had ever happened.

But if Destro noticed that their lookout was protected by a thick sheet of bulletproof glass, he didn't say anything. Just as he didn't say anything when the Commander refused to leave a ten foot radius of Zartan, despite the obvious benefit of having the mercenary do recon. And if a certain female Joe with a fondness for javelins ended up with three bullet holes in her side, Destro wouldn't know. In their line of work, it was better to let actions like these go unacknowledged.

Destro still hadn't forgotten about his plasma cannon though.

**Author's Note:**

> On an unrelated note, Destro's new prototype gun needs accuracy adjustment. Recent trials found that the projectiles fired have a tendency to land lower than expected.


End file.
